Blighted ovum

I'm ready to talk about it. A blighted ovum. I'd never even heard of that before last week, and yet it's the most common cause (~50%) of first trimester miscarriages. Apparently the sac continues to develop, so your body thinks you are pregnant. But the baby stops developing. So really you're not. :(

Anyway, at my checkup last week there was no heartbeat, and no evidence of a fetus. Just an empty sac. A blighted ovum. A fetus that, most likely, had genetic issues and ceased developing a while ago.

It was a surprise. I'd passed the big hurdle--I'd managed to get pregnant. I never thought I would fail the smaller hurdle of staying pregnant... Especially because I FELT pregnant the whole time.

But I wasn't. My body just did not realize. I stopped my meds (progesterone, estrogen) and waited for my body to figure it out.

From what I read, I was pretty scared about the miscarriage process. It can happen at any time. Some women have said it is very painful. And it can involve copious amounts of blood. Or nothing at all, requiring a D&C. Yuck.

In this regard, I was lucky. No heartbeat / off meds Tuesday. Very light spotting Friday and Saturday.  Heavy, heavy period-like bleeding (very, very heavy) Sunday and Monday. Tapering off today. No cramping.

I'm not allowed to try to get pregnant for at least a full cycle, so I'm going to try to regroup over the summer and figure out a new plan this fall. We will probably try to use our frozen ones next.

While blighted ovums ar common, apparently they are not necessarily things that reoccur--most women who have one only have one. Of course, they are more common with older moms-to-be, and I am now an older mom. (35, soon to be 36!)

It feels a little unfair that I started trying to get pregnant when I was in my late 20s, and have been pregnant (at least) 5 times, and somehow only have one child.

And yet, I feel so incredibly lucky to have that one wonderful kid. I would love to have another, but it'd I can't it will be okay. He's more than enough.

No heartbeat

There's nothing else to say, right?

Feelin fine

Things are still going well. Beta is 453. (It was 112 14 DPO [days post ovulation] and 453 18 DPO. They want to see it double in 72 hours. Of course I did not have a 72 hr blood draw (stupid Sunday), but it is clearly going up at least as much as it should.

Side note, this is an interesting website that collects self-reported beta measurements. Like anything self reported, take it with a grain of salt. (It says my betas are slightly lower than average. Boo!)

http://www.betabase.info/chart/basic/single

One hurdle... Hurdled....

Well, my pessimism was misplaced. Yesterday I read that not any individual pregnancy is the same, and that starts with implantation bleeding. In other words, some ladies have it with one but not another.

Then last night my acupuncturist asked if I "cheated" with a home pregnancy test. I said, no, should I?! So of course I went home and cheated--positive!

Test this AM confirmed it. Beta 112. Going back for a second test next week.

Wish me luck!!!