My body’s not a wonderwall (yet)

Baby turned 15 months recently, and he’s amazing. He’s not the world’s #1 talker (everyone keeps reminding us not to compare the baby with my older kid—who was practically talking in complete sentences at this age), but he’s very sweet. He’s also the craziest little baby—climbing everything he can. He’s a tiny menace.

The day he turned 1 I threw my breast pump in the basement and I never looked back. He nursed “recreationally” for another month or so, but he stopped asking and I stopped offering and that was that. Completely done by 15 months. And then I decided to try to get my body back.

I’ve been pretty seriously exercising since he was three months old, but from experience I know that those last so many lbs are going to stick around until the milk stops flowing. And that continues to be true. I dropped a few pounds basically the minute I stopped nursing and am now within less than 10 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight. (My mom recently said I looked too thin, so I know I’m on the right track!) Of course, weight is only part of the issue—I still have that loose mommy tummy going on. I’m not sure how realistic it is to hope that at 41 years old my stomach is going to go back to the way that it was. I can almost fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, that’s going to have to be good enough.

And even if I never get my body back (which I think is likely), it was all worth it! That tiny little man (who still doesn’t say da-da but knows the word for his pee-pee) is amazing.

Diagnosing congenital abnormalities

Soon after the little man was born, we discovered a congenital abnormality….  Not in him, in ME!  We got home from the hospital and I noticed a swelling lump under my left armpit.  Worried it was cancer (!!) I went in to get it checked out.  It turns out it’s not cancer, it’s MILK.  And, even crazier, it LEAKS.  You read that right, I have milk leaking from a hole in my armpit.  (Specifically, from a hair follicle—I do not have a nipple or mole.)

Apparently auxiliary breast tissue in the armpit is relatively common.  An article in Kellymom suggest that 1-6% of women have extra nipples or breast tissue.  https://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/extra-breast-tissue/  It’s caused from “incomplete regression of the mammary ridge (milk line) during the development of the embryo before birth.”  I have heard from other friends who had swelling under their armpits that was clearly extra breast tissue.

BUT, it’s pretty uncommon for that extra tissue to create milk, and rarer still that the milk can actually be expressed.  Here’s an article that talks about the “relatively uncommon condition” of axillary accessory breast with milk fistula: http://ispub.com/IJS/18/2/10314  The picture included is NSFW, but gives you an idea.  MILK.  LEAKING.  FROM ARMPIT.  Mine doesn’t leak spontaneously, but it can be expressed.  I leave it alone for as long as I can, but it swells to like the size of a marble and starts to hurt after a couple of days.  Then I massage it in the shower, the milk comes out, and the swelling goes down.  For posterity, I expressed it into a measuring container once to see how much was there.  It was about a teaspoon.  I did not feed it to the baby.

Weirdly, I did not have this with my first pregnancy.  No extra tissue, that I noticed, and definitely no milk leaking.

Anyway, other than that strange little thing, all is good here.  The little guy isn’t so little anymore—six months old!!  He is a happy, healthy, chubby little thing.  We started solid food recently, or tried anyway, but he HATES it.  He clamps his mouth tight and cries.  I’m not sure how we’re going to handle it.  Standby!

3 month wait

Holy smokes—I have a three month old!  (… is basically what I say to myself every time I’ve woken up for the past 3 months….)  It’s been an absolute whirlwind.  Here are some of the random thoughts that have been floating around it my head the last few months.

Reflections on labor

I was so confused about my very fast labor and delivery that (no surprise) I spent some time reading about fast labor.  It turns out, if your labor from first contraction to birth is less than 3 hours (which mine was, just barely, if you don’t count my early off and on contractions), there’s an actual term for it—precipitous birth. And it’s uncommon with a first, more common with second and later kids (no surprise).

I had a very easy labor with my first. In fact, he was almost accidentally born at home because I labored at home so long, I didn’t realize I was in the pushing phase until my doula showed up at our house and had me see if I could feel his head. (I could.) We hightailed it to the hospital and he was born around 14 hours after I went into labor. I’m not saying it wasn’t painful, but I handled it.

As I talked about in my last post, with my second, I experienced a little prodromal labor (light and far apart contractions that started and stopped) early in the day. I’ve read these can ready the cervix, and it sounds like quite a few women who have precipitous birth had them. At 4:30pm, after hours of nothing, my water broke. By 4:45 I had my first contraction, and 5 mins later another pretty strong one. Something told me labor was going to be fast (my mom had a 14+hr labor with me and had my younger brother in just 3 hours) so we went to the hospital ASAP. After we got there, got checked in, got assessed, etc, it was around 6 and I was 3-4cm dilated, 80% effaced. So I think the staff thought it was going to be a while. After getting to my room, my contractions started getting really really strong. When doc showed up (around 7?) I told her I wasn’t sure I could keep going. She checked me and I was 9cm. I started pushing soon after and he was born at 7:40, just under 3hrs from my first (real) contraction.

My second labor was far, far harder. My husband confirmed what I felt—I was in far more pain the second time. (One time I literally just screamed bloody murder, threw up so hard my nose bled, and in my final push screamed GET HIM OUT!) Hubby said he was scared during second labor, but not first, and he was very surprised how tired I was in the pushing phase of the second compared to the first. And I had a small first degree tear with my first (2hrs of pushing), but a second degree tear with my second (maybe 10 pushes?). 

Consistent with what I’ve read from other women—faster doesn’t necessarily mean easier.

Not only that, but I STILL remember my second labor.  With my first, those lovely “forgetful” hormones kicked in while I was still at home. I remember almost nothing from when I was in labor at the hospital. But I could write a novel about my second. I think it was too fast for those lovely hormones—or the ones that combat the pain!—to kick in.

Anyway, I’m not unhappy about my labor, I just gave it a lot of thought because it was so different from my first.  With my first I had an idea of how I wanted things to go, but knew you can’t always plan.  And then things pretty much went according to plan.  With my second, I expected it to be like my first, and was left a little out of sorts when things were not as expected.  It just goes to show you can’t always plan things.  (My new motto.)

Recovery

With my firstborn, I was up and at ‘em right away.  It was a point of pride that I took him for a walk like the first day we were home.  But my doula and her team recommended resting for at least a week after baby was born, noting that your poor body went through a fair bit of trauma!  That, and I feel like my recovery… down there… from my tiny first degree tear last time with a single stitch took a while, and this time I had a second degree tear with several stitches. So this time, my first week I barely even got out of bed.  Hubby or my dad brought me my meals on a tray, and I just rested and slept and loved on my baby.  And did a sitz bath every day with the pre-made herbs I put together.  It was nice, until….

Baby

He’s WONDERFUL.  Such a lovey happy joyous little man!  He was born at 39 weeks, over 8lbs, and was the picture of health.  And his first week of life he slept like 5+hrs per stretch each night, and like 22hrs a day overall.  We won the baby lottery!  

Or so we thought until we took him to his one week appointment.

Our pediatrician, who never gets worked up about ANYTHING, was like, holy smokes, this baby is almost a pound below his birth weight!  You’re killing him!!!  (Okay, that’s not what he said exactly, but that’s what I heard.)  It turns out it’s NOT good for a newborn to sleep that long at night, or to sleep quite that much during the day.  Our little baby was starving, and the starvation was making him borderline jaundiced.  And he was sleepy because he had no energy.  Because he was starving.  (Again, I wrongly assumed it would be as easy as last time.)

Hoo boy did I FREAK the F OUT.  I felt so terrible.  (And became worried that something else might be wrong.  I spent my nights googling metabolic disorders and sobbed at the pediatrician’s office on at least one occasion.)

So, like everything, we tackled this problem with zeal.  Every 3 hours (or more) I would nurse him. Then I would pump for 10 minutes.  Then we would feed him the pumped milk.  (Some people call this triple feeding.  I call it the seventh ring of hell.)  We did this for WEEKS.  And then I had an appointment with the doctor, or the lactation consultant, just about every day for a weigh in.  (The lactation consultant open house might be one of the saddest places around—dead-eyed moms and skinny babies everywhere.)  We celebrated the oz gained here and there.  Of course I was completely exhausted, and felt like my nipples were going to fall off, and threatened to turn to formula on more than one occasion.  (Breast isn’t best—fed is best.)  But slowly he and I figured things out.  My doctor and lactation consultant both said that there’s something magical about a baby getting back to its birth weight.  (Which my oldest did in 5 days!!)  And, just shy of his one month birthday, my second born got there too.  And it WAS magical!!!  He started acting a lot more alert, and doing a much better job nursing, and we phased out the bottles and the 8 (!!!) pumping sessions a day. (I’m down to 2 pumps a day now, just to stockpile milk before returning to work…. I think I have at least a month’s supply.)  And my chubby newborn turned skinny, jaundiced 1 week old is now a chubby three month old.  (My husband proudly points out his “thunder thighs” at least once a day.)

Unfortunately, my once great sleeper is now not so good.  The last couple of weeks he’s been waking up 4 or more times a night, and has been refusing to nap unless held.  My husband just keeps mumbling “this isn’t normal” under his breath, and I am too tired to talk at all.  I noticed that little man’s been drooling and chewing on his hands, so yesterday I pulled up his upper lip (much to his displeasure) and noticed two massive front teeth coming in!!  WTF??  My oldest got his first tooth right around a year—the bottom one most kids get.  How in the world do I have a three month old getting in two front teeth?!  My poor baby is obviously in pain, but he’s just such a cheerful little thing you wouldn’t even notice most of the time.  (He used to wake up from naps super happy.  Now he cries.  Poor thing!)

But he’s otherwise wonderful.  Happy, healthy, good eater.  (Sometimes TOO happy.  He’ll be nursing, look at me, and then lose his latch because he’s smiling so hard. I’ve never met a happier baby.)  I’m hopeful my good sleeper will return soon.

Recovery part 2

After I almost murdered my baby in cold blood (or so it felt like I was accidentally doing in those early days), I threw my recovery out the window.  Which was too bad, because I really should have done some more sitz baths.  Just before my 6 week appointment, I felt like things were not healing like they should be—I felt a pinching and it just felt off.  I was worried that my stiches had come apart, or I had healed wrong, or something else terrible that was going to require reconstructive surgery… or worse, that I would be disfigured forever.

Yea, I don’t overreact at all.

The good news is that, at my six week appointment, I was not declared defective and I did not have to do a consult with a plastic surgeon.  One of my stiches inexplicably did not dissolve and was causing pain.  The nurse yanked it out, told me to wait a week, and then I was free to resume normal activities.

Since then, I’ve started exercising again, and my pelvic floor has been strong enough that I’m even running again!  Of course, I’m still TWENTY FIVE pounds about my pre-pregnancy weight at three months postpartum (with my son it was around ten—having babies pushing 40 is hard, y’all!).  But I’m hopeful it will (eventually mostly) come off.  I was super skinny when I got pregnant, so I’m not expecting to get all the way down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I’ll feel a lot better when I’ve lost another 10-15.

My six year old recently said to me, “you’re not fat.  Well, you are but it’s not your fault because you had a baby.  So no one can call you fat.”

Thanks buddy.

In theory I would be back at work now, but I extended my leave through September and thank goodness—I’m a zombie.  I feel so bad for women who have no choice but to return to work before they are ready, and so grateful I have the luxury of taking the time I want.  (Another perk of being an older mom--$$$ in the bank!)

Things I’ve Googled at 2am

“precipitous labor more painful” (I’m not the only one who thinks so!): https://community.babycenter.com/post/a31048983/dealing_with_the_pain_of_precipitous_labor?cpg=6#

“precipitous labor rare” (Not really!  Only 6% of first time moms, but more than 20% of repeat customers—several of my friends (and my mom!) had fast later labors): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4285060/

“Accidentally starving newborn” (Fed is Best): https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/kavinsenapathy/2016/09/27/beware-of-accidentally-starving-your-breastfed-newborn/amp/

“Extreme pumping” (sucks): https://happyhomefairy.com/extreme-pumping-tips-and-tricks/

“Tongue tie” (one lactation consultant suggested clipping his frenum, my pediatrician did not think it was a good idea and I’m so glad we didn’t): https://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/tongue-tied.html

“How to wake a sleeping baby to feed” (in the early days we had to put ice cold rags on his bare skin to keep him awake.  Our pediatrician recommended squeezing his foot until it hurt – I couldn’t bring myself to do it): http://cindyandjana.com/waking-baby-to-feed/

“Tips for increasing milk supply” (I did take some herbs recommended by my lactation consultant):https://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/low-supply/

“Baby asymmetrical blinking” (normal): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3327295/

Things still keeping me awake at night

SIDS.  Apparently it peaks around 3 months, so we’re being hyper vigilant.  I’ve read all about the risk factors, and removed all the ones that I can.  He’s breastfed. He sleeps in our room, in a bassinet next to our bed, without any covers, pillows, stuffed animals, etc., and on his back.  We keep the room at a safe temperature—not too hot!—and run a fan.  He sleeps in a sleep sack (even swaddles can be a risk!).  We don’t smoke, nor is he exposed to it, and I don’t do drugs or drink heavily.  (Although I do treat myself to a glass of wine after I get him down at night.)  We try to give him a binky but (unlike his brother) he hates it.  The one thing we do occasionally is co-sleep.  I don’t want to (because SIDS!!!) but sometimes he just refuses to sleep unless he’s next to me.  I talked to the pediatrician, and he said it’s never recommended, but our risks are super low and we have to do what we have to do to sleep.  He’s also started rolling over to his side when he sleeps, which causes me consternation, but I can’t stand over him and flip him each time it happens.

Closing thoughts

Holy smokes—I have a three month old!  It’s unbelievable.  It feels like I won the lottery and I wasn’t even playing. 

But I have so many friends who are still struggling.  One friend who got pregnant super easily with her first two just lost her third pregnancy.  She was totally devastated because it was so unexpected.  Another just did a third round of IVF and lost a third pregnancy.  There are no answers why.  It’s particularly devastating because it wasn’t completely unexpected.  Another friend just started her IVF journey after years of trying without any success.  I love all of them and wish them success, and it makes my heart hurt to look at my little miracle and think about all of the other women who don’t have what I do.

This was meant to be a fertility blog, limited to my ruminations on my two week wait.  Obviously it’s expanded into much more than that!  I’ll keep posting from time to time.  (Especially if there’s another accidental pregnancy!  Ha!  Just kidding, that’s NOT happening.)  

Thanks again for all of the support!!

Birth story

Just to get the important things out of the way:  he’s here, he’s healthy, and mom is healthy too.

As you can guess, the past 24 hours have been a little crazy.

I woke up just after midnight on May 7 with very mild contractions.  I was excited—he’s coming!!  But they contractions were so mild and spaced so far apart (10 minutes?) that I was able to fall back asleep.  I woke again a little after 5am and they were the same.  A trip to the bathroom also demonstrated my “bloody show.”  (My mucus plug had been falling out for a few days, and at that time there was a lot of it tinged with blood.) 

After I got up, showered, ate, and got ready for work, though, the contractions stopped.  I called my doctor’s office, and they said that’s normal, but try to walk around and see if you can get things moving again.  So I drank my raspberry loose leaf tea and ate my dates and went to work.  Between a couple meetings I had that day, I went for two very long walks.  The first one, in the morning, I walked for over an hour to a park near where I work.  The second, in the afternoon, I walked the opposite way towards the river, again for over an hour.  The day was hot, and I was pretty sweaty, which worried me because I know stillbirths can spike in hot weather.  Between the two I walked for around 2 ½ hours and I’d guess over 2 miles.  (So I guess it was something between a walk and a shuffle.)

But, for all my efforts, I still didn’t get those contractions going.  (Although I did get more bloody show….)

Then I had a 2:30 afternoon meeting.  (Ironically, with a number of the women at my firm.)  While in the meeting I had a strong contraction, and then another one 10 minutes later.  I stood up, announced I had to leave before I threw up, and went home.  On my drive home I had two more very strong contractions, again about 10 minutes apart.

And then nothing.

Annoyed, I did some quick research only to discover that this stopping and starting of labor is not uncommon and can go on for days.  BOOO.  The good news is that this process (sometimes called early labor or prodromal labor) actually does move the labor process along—i.e. your cervix is dilating etc.—and can make actual labor faster. 

I called and talked to the doctor’s office, and they told me that I should come to the hospital if my labor pains were less than 5 minutes apart and I couldn’t talk through them (a stage I never actually got to with my first!) or if my water breaks.  Since absolutely nothing was happening, I wasn’t super worried about figuring out when we should go to the hospital.

So I just laid in bed resting (I was tired after all of the walking I did!) and texted my parents/hubby letting them know that, counter to what we thought, it did not seem like baby was making an appearance that day.

My husband called to check in on me around 4:30.  He said, “where are you?”  I said, “at home resting.”  He said, “no, where exactly are you?”  Confused, I responded, “in bed.”  He’s like, “okay, just please don’t sit on my new chair [his 40^th birthday gift from me—a fancy post-destructive baby phase piece of furniture, ha!] unless you have a towel or something, in case your water breaks.”  I decided not to condescend to tell him that it’s really rare for your water to break when you’re not in labor—that’s just in the movies.

We hung up, I laid back down, and not minutes later I feel (hear??) a “pop” and, hand to heart, my water breaks.  So, I guess we ARE having a baby after all!!  I call hubby and tell him to home, change my clothes, call the doctor, call my doula, and run downstairs for a quick snack.  Around 4:45, I had my first contraction—a pretty strong one.  When I talked to both my doctor and my doula, they said there’s no big hurry to get to the hospital after your water breaks, but we decided since my labor was pretty fast with my son, and we’ve heard to expect a faster labor with successive pregnancies, and because we were going to be driving in rush hour traffic, to leave sooner than later.  As my husband is quickly grabbing a snack I have another contraction, and as we time them we see they’re about 5 mins apart and strong—time to go!

The drive to the hospital took less than half an hour.  At the beginning the contractions felt like strong period cramps, but got stronger and stronger as we drove.  And they were about 5 mins apart.  When we got to the hospital we went to the assessment area (which I basically skipped last time around because I showed up ready to push).  They check your blood pressure, weight, etc. etc.  At that point, they also checked my cervix—3-4cm, 80% effaced, so that early labor did make some progress, but we had a way to go.  While we were there my contractions were getting stronger, so we decided to call my doula and have her come.  I think we were there for maybe half an hour before going to the delivery room.

In the delivery room, things started to move fast.  My contractions were getting really strong, and I wasn’t breathing through them as much as I was moaning hard.  My doula showed up around 6:30, and by that time I was in significant pain.  (My husband said he does not remember me being in as much pain with my son.)  I’d been feeling nauseous for a while, and at one point I grabbed a barf bag and vomited so hard I got a nosebleed.  There were fluids coming out of both ends!  After that I definitely said I don’t know if I can keep doing this (especially if we still had hours and hours to go), but the doctor checked me and I was 9cm dilated!  She said let’s see about trying to push.  For maybe 8 mins I was “pushing” but not really, and then I had 6 very painful and very hard pushes.  At one point I screamed bloody murder.  On my final push I cried out, “get him out of me!”  I don’t know if I was talking to the doctor, myself, or God.  But my pleas were answered and he was out.  7:40pm, just a few hours after my water broke.  

Man, that was intense! 

We got a little nervous at the end because they were monitoring baby (which was really uncomfortable) and both of us worried that we were going to hear, “baby is in distress, we have to pull him out now.”  (With my son, I don’t think I was really even monitored.)  But that fear did not come to pass.

He cried right away, had an Apgar score of 8/9, and weighed 8lbs 5oz (just a little bigger than his brother was).  He’s been fully checked by doctor, and is healthy as can be.  I cannot tell you what a relief it is to have him here and healthy.

I’m doing well too.  Labor was super exhausting.  Especially the pushing at the end.  It’s one thing to just be in pain, it’s a whole different animal to be in pain and have to exercise through it.  After I ran the marathon this fall I remember saying I never wanted to be done with anything more in my life.  Umm, yea, labor is way worse!!  I had one small second degree tear, but a few stitches later I feel as good as new!

I really, really cannot believe this is how this chapter in my life ends.  Two beautiful healthy kiddos!  Who would have thought, after all these years, that this is how my two week wait would end?

Getting ready to evict this baby

This baby shows no interest in coming out.  I had my weekly appointment (38w5d) yesterday.  The doctor brought up induction, noting that because of my age (just under 40) and loss history, they would generally not want me going past 40w6d and that we could consider induction starting at 39 weeks.  We talked about it a lot, and I said on one hand I was not interested in inducing early unless there was a reason, and on the other hand I remain REALLY nervous about this baby being born healthy, and since he’s clearly alive now I do feel tempted to just pull him out.

She seemed to understand.  She suggested just checking my cervix to see if induction was even an option.  Spoiler: it’s not.

Apparently they use something called the “Bishop score” to determine whether induction is a good idea/likely to be successful. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bishop_score

Here’s the information from Wikipedia:

Parameter	Score				Description
	0	1	2	3
Position	Posterior	Middle	Anterior	–	The position of the cervix changes with menstrual cycles and also tends to become more anterior (nearer the opening of the vagina) as labour becomes closer.
Cervical Consistency	Firm	Medium	Soft	–	In primigravid women the cervix is typically tougher and resistant to stretching, much like a balloon that has not been previously inflated (it feels like the bottom of a chin). With subsequent vaginal deliveries the cervix becomes less rigid and allows for easier dilation at term.
Effacement	0-30%	40-50%	60-70%	80+%	Effacement translates to how 'thin' the cervix is. The cervix is normally approximately three centimetres long, as it prepares for labour and labour continues the cervix will efface till it is 'fully effaced' (paper thin).
Dilation	Closed	1–2 cm	3–4 cm	5+cm	Dilation is a measure of how open the cervical os is (the hole). It is usually the most important indicator of progression through the first stage of labour.
Fetal station	−3	−2	−1, 0	+1, +2	Fetal station describes the position of the fetus' head in relation to the distance from the ischial spines, which are approximately 3-4 centimetres inside the vagina and are not usually felt. Health professionals visualise where these spines are and use them as a reference point. Negative numbers indicate that the head is further inside than the ischial spines and positive numbers show that the head is below the level of the ischial spines.

Here's another article:

http://perinatology.com/calculators/Bishop%20Score%20Calculator.htm

And another one suggesting it’s a poor indicator of labor induction success:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23283806

And here’s another one suggesting a “simplified” score (considering fetal station, cervical effacement, and parity) does predict success:

https://www.ejog.org/article/S0301-2115(16)30289-5/abstract?code=euro-site

She said they would look for a combined score of 7 or above before seriously considering inducing, at least at this stage.  I was a 6.  I was 30% effaced (score of 0), dilated about 1cm (score of 1), cervix was medium (score of 1).  She told me baby was still pretty high, but did not give me a number, and did not mention position of baby.  Presumably to get to my score of 6 baby is in anterior position (score of 2) and fetal station was -1/0 (score of 2).  In other words, this baby’s not looking to go anywhere for a while.

If I were a totally healthy young mom with no history of issues, I’d be like “cool!”  (I’m sure that’s how I was with my son.)  This time, though, I’m nervous.  I confessed to a friend that I remain very, very worried about the outcome of this pregnancy, and she was like, “me too!  I won’t rest easy until that baby’s in your arms.”  That made me feel better (validated) and worse (it’s not just my imagination, I’m still at risk) at the same time.

So we’re going to check again next week (39w5d, although hubs and I think my due date is a few days off/early) and then decide if we want to schedule an induction (if it’s even an option) or try something else to get things going like sweep my membranes.

From what I’ve read/what my doctor has told me, the potential benefits to membrane sweeping are: can reduce the need for other methods of labor induction such as oxytocin or prostaglandins, and can reduce the duration of pregnancy.  One medical journal article I read said that “To avoid one formal induction of labour, sweeping of membranes must be performed in eight women.”  Another article suggested, “We concluded that sweeping of membranes was ineffective to reduce the need for formal induction of labour.”  So it’s either not particularly effective, or just effective rarely.

The risks are: discomfort during the procedure, bleeding, and irregular contractions.  There is also a risk that your water is broken, with one article saying 1 in 10 (although my doctor said it’s never happened to her).  I’ve also read there could be an increased risk of infection, but the medical journal study doesn’t seem concerned about that.  So the big risk is just discomfort.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0010678/

https://obgyn.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1471-0528.2002.01193.x

https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-on-membrane-sweeping/

It’s unclear to me that there’s much benefit, and it sounds like it’s pretty painful.  I think I’ll hold off until closer to the date they would induce to consider this option.  But if things don’t look like they’re going to start moving, I think I will schedule an induction sometime after 40 weeks, and have my membranes swept a few days ahead of the induction.

38 weeks and getting excited!

I confess—I haven’t allowed myself to fully invest in this pregnancy until recently. I know it’s not fair to the little guy, but I can’t help it. It’s not even a conscious decision. I guess it’s just a coping mechanism because I really don’t know how I would handle a bad outcome. But I can’t live my life always worrying about the worst. So, lately, I’m allowing myself to get excited.

Last week hubby and I finally sat down to discuss baby names (nothing chosen yet, but narrowed down) and that exercise made it feel very real. And my friends threw me a little (actually, it was kinda big!) baby shower. Opening up the gifts (which were mostly insanely expensive baby outfits, as I’ve outfitted myself with the necessities) also made this feel real. Like, I’m most likely going to have another kid by mother’s day!

And my appointments have been good, adding to the confidence of a good outcome. My BPP this week was good. He’s still super duper active (a good sign!) and all vitals look good.

And I’m starting to get really, really uncomfortable. I feel like there’s a bowling ball between my legs, which there pretty much is. Apparently he’s sitting low. And I have been getting up about 3 times a night to pee. And my hips hurt. And my back hurts. And my feet are tired. And swollen. And I’m just generally tired. (And generally swollen!) So not only am I excited to meet this kid, but my body really wants to be done!

So, despite our history and the fact that this still feels unreal, I really am starting to get excited. (At times, though, I still can’t believe I’m pregnant. Like I might wake up and it’s all a dream.)

We’re getting close! I could have a baby any day now!

Dates, dates, the magical (dried) fruit

I had my 37w (36w5d) BPP this week.  Baby is still head down (whooh!), my blood pressure is still good, and I am slowly but steadily getting ready to release this kiddo.  1 cm dilated, 25% effaced.  Although I’m not sure I am going to ask for / consent to anymore of these cervical checks—they are pretty unpleasant, and it sounds like not really good for much in the way of predicting baby’s arrival anyway.  (I have a memory of being natural earth mama last time around and saying no to most or all of the offers for them last time around.  I’m just too damn uncomfortable now—I need this baby OUT.)

I “splurged” on some bra extenders today.  Post-kiddo and prime fitness shape I was a svelte 34A.  After I got pregnant, I went out and invested in a few new bras in larger sizes (having JUST purged the ones from last time around.  Grrr.).  Those 36B/Cs have been pretty good, but lately I feel like someone is trying to smash me whenever I put one on.  Enter bra extenders, which claim they’re great for “temporary” weight gain/pregnancy.  Ahh, sweet relief.

Have I mentioned I’m over being pregnant?  

I’ve also started eating 6 dried dates a day.  Apparently there is small study showing that women who ate 6 dates per day starting at 4 weeks prior to their estimated due date had improved cervical dilation, less damage to their membranes, more spontaneous labor, less use of drugs to get labor started/continued, and shorter labor.  To be clear, the women who ate dates were in labor for 501 min versus 906 for the non-date eaters.  Ummm, being in labor for less time sounds good to me!

https://foodrevolution.org/blog/dates-health-benefits/