Before I go any further on this post, I have to start by acknowledging that I lost my pregnancy at 17 weeks. I am not comparing myself to women who go longer or, God forbid, lose babies after they are born. But I did gain baby weight (about 10lbs) and it was fucking impossible to lose.
When I was reading about what I might experience after our termination, one (unlikely, given I was not that far along) possibility was that my milk would come in. I was convinced that would be devastating, so I did what little I could do to make sure that didn't happen. (No nipple stimulation at all.) My milk did not come in. (Although a couple times in the shower some milky fluid come did out of my nipples.) But, of course, milk production helps post-partum women lose weight and helps their uterus contract to help them get their figure back. My milk did not come in (thank goodness) but that means I had to lose the weight all on my own (no help from my hormones!).
For the first few weeks after the termination, I was supposed to take it easy—no exercising. So I did what anyone in my situation would do—I sat on the couch and cried and ate carbs and sugar and drank booze. So no surprise I did not lose weight. But once I was cleared to exercise I started up, mostly doing light/medium cardio (jogging, swimming, biking, etc.). After a month of that, I lost exactly ZERO pounds. ZERO. I was stunned. I was watching what I was eating and I was working out just about every day. And I had not lost AN OUNCE. (Of course, I hadn’t gotten my period yet, so my body still thought I was pregnant. I doubt that helped.)
So about 6 weeks after my termination (right after I finally got my period) I decided to get serious. I started doing significantly more strenuous exercise. Among other things, I bought Insanity. (60-day exercise video series: http://www.teambeachbody.com/workout-routines/insanity-workout.) I worked out for around an hour EVERY DAY at least once a day, sometimes twice a day. I dieted. (I’ve never dieted before in my entire life.) After a month I’d lost seven pounds. I had hoped I would lose more, but it was a start. I eased up on my dieting (which is to say, I was eating normally/healthy, but not calorie restricting), and my weight lost stagnated…. even though I was still working out over an hour every day HARD. It was really, really frustrating that I had to go to so much trouble just to get back to the weight that I should have been, and it was 10x more frustrating when results were very slow.
I only lost two pounds in the second month. So I was not quite back to my old weight, but I was close. And, because I did it with serious hard exercise, I have to admit I look good. (That is, I’m heavier than I want to be, but more muscular than I’ve been since I had my little guy.)
The three months after my termination were some of the hardest, emotionally, in my whole life. Throwing in the fact that I continued to LOOK pregnant and couldn’t fit into my clothes for several months just made it that much worse, but I think having a goal and a specific plan was a good way to take my mind off of things…. A bit.
Ironically, the timing worked out in such a way that my last Insanity exercise the day of my next transfer.
Yes, we’re on this fucking ride again.
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